this room is far to warm to sleep in

It is approaching 6 am and I am wide awake. I am stone cold sober and some what at peace with the world as it is right now.
I’ve ben in Los Angeles since Tuesday and its so great to be back. I feel so at home here. I honestly wish I didn’t have to leave…but that is still a few weeks away, however time flies when you are having fun.
In relaxing and enjoying my down time we have been pretty busy. The first Hotel Cafe show was a hit.. It sold out and I even watched people get turned away at the door. I met fans that had flown in from around the world to see his show.. It absolutely blows my mind. When I first met Sam he had only written one of his own songs and played rolling stones and johnny cash covers in a coffee shop in the part of Vancouver that we live in and now this.. It is amazing..
We attended the premiere for Twilight : Eclipse this past week and when we got out of our car we were greeted by 3 girls who were huge fans of Sam’s as well as some fans screaming from the bleachers across the road. One of the girls was even wearing a t-shirt made for the Justin Nozuka tour… It is amazing and I cannot begin to describe how… How fucking cool it is (for the lack of a better description)… It seriously excites me…
The premiere was a blast, we had a great time and got to meet and see a lot of people.. I never new that the Nokia Theatre was so big. I have only ever heard of it and never been. Infact, of all the time I have spent in Los Angeles I have never been downtown LA.. It is actually kind of charming.. It almost makes you forget how twisted and strange this city is.. But I am hooked. I am addicted and I feel alive again..
I am beyond inspired.. I want to do so much right now… I have this overwhelming desire to be successful again.. Something I have lost over the past few months.. I have literally been stuck in mental turmoil. I have been so unhappy and dealing with a lot of un needed bullshit that I seem to have forgotten what I want and I have forgotten how to be human.. When I am at home I feel like a fucking robot and it destroys me inside… I have a hard time saying no to things I know I need to be saying no to.. I am very easily tempted in Vancouver to party and just get off track but it makes forgetting everything else easy. I am not dumb and I know that’s no way to deal with a situation, but I get bored easily and I always need to be on the go.. I hate drama, I hate trivial BS and I strongly dislike people who bring me down or slow me down.
I have made some amazing friends over the last few days and today we had to say goodbye to two of the most beautiful(inside and out) people I have met in a very long time. I know I will see them both again but we all live busy lives so know one really knows when, on the upside I now have a couch to sleep on in New York City, something I have longed for, for a long time. Everyone I know in the NYC area all live in Jersey or Connecticut so it makes finding a reason to go to New York hard.. Not that I need a reason, it just helps when you know people there.. And I have been there I don’t know how many times and I’ve never seen the damn Statue of Liberty.. Like wtf is that all about.. When I was in London the first thing I did was went to see the London Bridge, San Fran: the Golden Gate Bridge, San Antonio: The Alamo, Chicago: Sears Tower and the the fountain from Married with Children… I am a sucker for cheesy tourist traps and it itches me under the skin that I have not seen that god damned statue. I’ve been to Times Square and seen Madison Square Gardens and walked through some of central park, but that big old statue will be the death of me..
We also went to the premiere for Kristen’s new film “Welcome to the Rileys” and I cannot say enough good things about this movie. In my opinion, you can’t not like this film. The cast (as small as it is) is amazing. Gandolfini plays a different role from the Sopranos but you cannot help but fall in love with his character. Melissa Leo is AMAZING as is Kristen.. her character Allison/Malory, is very different from the few roles i have seen her play and she is played so well that you feel everything that she feels during the course of the movie.. I was actually sad when it ended and I wanted to know more. I want to watch it again and again. From what I have heard though it will not be released until the fall… 😦

Other then that I have not done to much.. I went out on Wednesday night to watch my boys in Divide the Day play a show at some weird club in Hollywood… It was actually kind of neat the way the club was set up.. It was half indoor half out door but everything else about the place was right twisted.. For instance, they served free drinks until 11 and then charged you 4 dollars for a soda and 10 dollars for a drink after 11.. Women had to be 18+ to get in, 21 to drink and then guys only over 21 were aloud in.. I get why they do it, but that is fucking wrong.. Like… Nothing about being at that place made me feel comfortable aside from my circle of friends as it were and it made no sense why the guys were playing there, it was a dance club with a hard western rock band playing in the middle of the night, to what seemed like a crowd of unwilling ears, however the group of people they brought out had a good time, it just went a little later then I would have hoped…

England plays Germany tomorrow..
Sam plays Hermosa Beach tomorrow..
Its now almost 24 hours since I started this post so I’m going to play the sleeping game.


13 thoughts on “this room is far to warm to sleep in

  1. Thanks for this amazingly well written and heartfelt blog. I am so happy to hear that you have found a way out of your depression. I also am going through a bit of a low in my life at the moment and was uplifted to read your blog, so thankyou.

    I have not seen the Welcome to the Reillys yet but have heard wonderful things about it. The film holds great personal significance to me as i have read about some of the hardships of kristen’s character and they mirror some events similar to mine. If you ever see Kristen again please let her know that I am her number one fan. I live in the UK and watch all her movies and am so looking forward to ‘On the Road’ as this is one of my favourite novels. People don’t seem to recognise enough how truly great an actress she really is. Those stupid twilight movies are not what people should be judging anyones acting on. Poorly written scripts because of a book that should never have been converted to film. Sorry just a really blunt honest opinion.

    So thanks again for this blog and i hope you stay inspired and stay clear of those temptations that can hurt us all. I have been there and am still trying to come fully out of it. But I will get there and you have given me hope. So thankyou.

    Take care,

  2. Hey
    You seem like a really insightful and intelligent person and I also must say i like your look. You look cool and in my personal opinion you look like someone who would be good with kristen. I know she is being linked to sam’s friend rob, but i think she would look better with you. I am not a fan of anyone in the twi saga but kristen’s, so maybe that is why i would prefer her without rob. I don’t hate rob but just not a fan. Probably the only person in the world, right? After seeing your picture in a photo I straight away thought wow, I would love kstew with someone like you. Your cute, and i know she likes that kind of look.

    Ah well if you ever meet up with her in canada while she is filming next month, if she is single and you are GIVE IT A SHOT.

    Okay i better go you didn’t write this blog for opinions like this. But i am just putting it out there, you know right place, right time. HOT

  3. Ah, you make me smile, sonny Jim. This was just as good as reading a newsy letter from home.

    I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself and thrilled that you post little bits and pieces on twitter. I am excited that you’re inspired and hope that it continues or that you’re able to capitalise on it. It occurred to me recently that I’d given up on life. Given up on taking charge and doing what I wanted. I’m trying to rectify it. But it’s not easy. Grab all the opportunities you can.

    Sorry, I really am smiling widely. It’s just so good to hear you sounding happy.

  4. I have to agree with Piper – it’s so amazing to “hear” you sounding so happy and passionate. You’re also making it even freaking harder for me to wait another week to get on that plane! lol

    Seriously though, its inspiring to me that you’re taking advantage of every opportunity that LA has to offer and living to the fullest. It sounds like you always do, but personally anyway I know that sometimes when life’s got you down it’s hard to make yourself get up and go and get out of it…it’s something I struggle with every day. Kudos for not letting it take you over or slowing you down.

    Keep enjoying and thanks for the photo tour around the city. We love all of the updates. xx

  5. Ditto Piper! I love to read that you are inspired again. That city is definitely a lot of things, all that you described, especially inspiring. I hope you continue to have a blast there. xxxx

  6. I totally understand about the tourist traps….hence why when I come visit we have to visit a bunch of them haha. Im glad to know youre having such a great time!!! Right on man!!!

  7. I saw the pictures the girls put up of you guys on the black carpet. The one in the Sam shirt made my day – so happy she chose to wear it to support him.
    I can’t imagine how thrilling and surreal that day must have been.
    I haven’t really talked with you on Twitter, thought I have read some of your blog and you converse with several of my friends. I didn’t realize until your Lance Bass tweet that you were actually at the premiere, with Sam! For some reason, I thought you were just visiting LA & my girls were going to meet up & ‘kidnap’ you. I missed out on a crucial piece of info, I guess, but it doesn’t really matter.
    Thanks for helping with the fruit basket thing, though. We appreciated it.
    Enjoy your stay & thumbs up to being inspired.

  8. I like to hear that you are getting a chance to recharge your batteries. Sometimes that is all we need to refocus on our goals. Enjoy your stay in LA, your time with your friend(s). I certainly enjoy your photos and blog. LA looks good on you…just sayin. Hope to meet you at a Sam show in the future…..I’ll buy you a beer and some marlboros.

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  10. My son was laughing at me when reading this line on your blog “… know how many times and I&#8217ve never seen the damn Statue of Liberty.. Like wtf is that all …” this is it, you just smashed it down pal.

  11. the best news is that u are inspired… now that u are back in vancouver, avoid people that bring you down and know that people don’t have to be in your city to still make u happy or feel surrounded by positivity (most people i care most about are thousands of miles away… 😦 ) .

    keep on rockin’ in the free world…

    or, enjoying rock in the free world.

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